it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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