Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
