By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
