we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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