so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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