All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
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