I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
