Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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