Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
not ubering you a puppy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
