Sry I called you an 8
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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