I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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