Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
