if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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