Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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