You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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