Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
