Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
