So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
