My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
