i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
