He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I stole a fireplace last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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