Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.