Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
