i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
