I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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