dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize