I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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