I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize