my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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