Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
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I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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