why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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