it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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