Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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