I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
