Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
