I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
