good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
