Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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