Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
