Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
