Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
