The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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