Who wears a wallet chain?!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize