The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
