True but thats because hes a fetus.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
