I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
