I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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