LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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