Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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