You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
