do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
