Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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