"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize