If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
