I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
