it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
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Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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