Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
