why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
