Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
