I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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