Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
