forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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