I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
